CAMCORDER OWNER Warner Brothers is looking for a fresh faced university student to carry out its dirty work against file sharers, according a recent job posting.
Warner Brothers, the producer of such silver screen masterpieces as Above the Law and Burglar, despite posting increasing operating profits clearly think it is losing the war against those who indulge in copyright infringement, and of course it would be right. So instead of doing something smart, it is looking for a student to carry out its fruitless endeavours against filesharers.
Like most well-laid plans hatched in media executives' boardrooms, the stupidity of the details makes you realise why so many films these days are of such poor quality. The application requires the lucky student, who will be reimbursed £17,500 for the embarrassment of working for Warner Brothers, to essentially take part in peddling the firm's own content in order to catch filesharers.
The job requires keeping the firm up-to-date on the chatter in IRC rooms, filesharing forums and various other sites. One particular aspect of the job description makes for interesting reading. The creation and maintenance of "accounts on private sites" should mean that the eager intern joining and maintaining download/upload ratios on popular private tracker sites. Quite how the lucky intern will avoid getting one of the "infringement notices" that the firm seems happy to bandy about should be a concern for would-be applicants.
Reading the application copy, it's not hard to understand how a technologically inept company can't win in the 'war against filesharers'. The firm demands that applicants be "IT literate" and have "Internet experience including peer protocols". Quite what a peer protocol is, is far beyond our years of Internet experience, but perhaps it means peer-to-peer protocols such as Bittorrent. Essentially it is looking for a filesharer. Some of you may be thinking of a popular Internet meme from the Return of the Jedi though, sadly, that's not one of Warner Brothers' titles.
Warner Brothers, like all production houses, simply does not grasp the fundamental reason why the majority of people are forced to obtain material through alternative means. Instead of taking simple measures such as lowering cinema ticket prices and maintaining some level of picture and sound quality once inside, it is hell-bent on taking what can only be described as laughable measures to prevent what it believes is its right to gouge customers and provide a poor experience for the privilege.
Those who are interested in becoming a sponsored snitch for Warner Bros can apply until the end of the month. Although you need to be taking part in a "computer related" degree, judging by the genius who masterminded this plan just being able to fill in the form should overqualify you for the job.