Which acts are the first four put through to
the next round on "America's Got Talent?"Okay, so I missed the first 8 minutes due to a DVR snafu. I joined the episode just as Nathaniel Kenyon was put through at the expense of Airpocalypse and Sally Cohn, which is pretty spot-on for me.
I love it that this show makes the contestants hang out together in a red-painted broom closet while they jump and down and pretend to like popcorn. Hilarious.
We now have Selena Gomez with "Round and Round." She looks pretty and stuff but the vocals are pretty weak sauce. She also looks like a little girl playing dress up. Sorry, Selena. You do not spin me right round like a record, baby.
The next group is Nick Pike, Kung Fu Heroes and Fighting Gravity. Well, this has to be FG, right? I mean, it's not even a question. And then they get through, which is the right choice. So far I'm 2-for-2 predicting the advancing groups. C'mon Future Funk and the Tap Dancers!
We jump right into the next results with Christina & Ali, Maricar and the Hot Shot Tap Dancers. If you ask me, the tap dancers should advance. But I'd put my money on the singing sisters, who apparently have a disease, which is very sad but doesn't make them sound better as singers. Anyway, the act that goes through is ... Christina and Ali. Ugh. I mean, they are adorable and I would love to cast them in my production of "Annie" or whatever, but they weren't that good last night. Hmmm. Poor tap dancers.
Before we get to the last spot, we have "Rock of Ages" performing. This is supposed to be "rock" but it's like white bread, sugar pop rock with too-well-choregraphed back-up dancers and Constantine Maroulis permed hair. Hmmm.
The "special surprise guest" turns out to be Dee Snider. My money was on Bret Michaels, but I'm not THAT far off. Bret Michaels : "American Idol" as Dee Snider : "America's Got Talent," am I right?
Does anybody else look at this and wonder if Adam Lambert is headed this way? Just commenting -- I love Adam Lambert.
Wait, what? Journey? In "Rock of Ages?" That's weird. Plus, Constantine does NOT have Steve Perry's high notes AT ALL. Yikes. I'd rather listen to Lea Michele and Cory Monteith and I am not even kidding.
How hilarious was it when Nick Cannon called "American Idol" a "big big talent show." Snerk.
The last group comes down to RNG, Paul Safy Jr. and Future Funk. So last year, the judges' decision was between the two on-the-bubble acts. Are these the acts that finished 4, 5 and 6? Or not? Hmmm.
When the acts get out on stage, the two little Future Funkers are almost crying already. Awww, little guys! But first -- Nick sends one act home! And it is ... Paul Safy Jr. Yeah, that's not a shock. For one, he wasn't that good. And for two, that makes the judges choose between two adorable children's acts. Man, those little boys keep wiping their eyes and the RNG girls are getting choked up. I can't even take this. There should be a kids' division of this show.
Nick informs us that they did come in 4th and 5th, so I feel better about the integrity of the show. (Did I just type that sentence?) Anyway, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, the judges put through Future Funk.
Did you notice how the younger Future Funker imitates everything the older Future Funker does? SO CUTE.
So there you have it -- we really only felt like talent-wise Fighting Gravity and the Tap Dancers deserved to advance, which just goes to show you how this show works.